i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
