i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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