After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
