oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize