I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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