Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
