Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
