You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
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He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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