Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize