Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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