about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
