my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
