I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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