There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
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It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
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so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable