Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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