if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.