I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
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at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
