So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
it's great music for shaving your balls
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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