I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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