So drunk its hurt
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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