ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
