you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.