whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.