I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...