You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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