i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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