ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
