i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
