Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
