if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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