Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?

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(302): View more from Delaware

I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.

(302): View more from Delaware

I love summer.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?

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(719): View more from Colorado

there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants

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(901): View more from Tennessee

You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Who knew?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up

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