When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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