Three words: puerto rican gang bang
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
