Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize