Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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