i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize