Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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