Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
