Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Do vagina's smell?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
