Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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