I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize