She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
