dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
