I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
