So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
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It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
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My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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