She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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