i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
