It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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