Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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