This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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