tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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