The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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