I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
