Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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