Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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