Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
