FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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