we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
