remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize